And I realized that the video Awards is really just a spectacle for art directors. I know I'm late on this. But I have to comment on the spectacle that was the MTV VMAs. First, I've never seen VJs worked up in a frenzy the way these folks were. I wouldn't have been surprised if somebody sharted on themselves if the broadcast went on any longer. I just kept hearing, "OH my god, this is crazy!" Everytime I saw Jermaine Jackson talk on the pre-show I couldn't help but think, why in the name of Thor does his hair look something made by Dr. Doom's Hair Club For Men? It's extremely distracting and when was that ever the style. What does he call it? Why, Jermaine, why?
Michael Jackson Tribute at the MTV Awards
And then finally, the show started... with a touching story of how Madonna tried to give Michael Jackson the "business." After her recollection, a gaping Thriller dance number commences with about 25 dancers all doing MJ's unique steps in an assortment of his different looks! They cycled through his numbers and ended up on Scream where Janet appears and dances with the video ghost of her brother behind her. The crowd claps and everybody pays homage to the King of pop with a standing ovation and that was about as normal as it got. Then the silliness ensued...I'm not going to give an blow by blow account, as I'm sure you can go see it for yourself online on MTV, so I'll just go down the list of memorable moments:
The host Russell Brand appears with fire and a guitar solo by some old rocker whom I forgot and don't feel like looking up.
Russell Brand was pretty much unfunny for the most part and I assume made Meagan Fox uncomfy.
Meagan Fox was as pale as Vampire Bill.
Vampire Bill would've bit Kanye West for snatching the mic and completely ruining Taylor Swift's video award exceptance speech.
Lady GaGa's performance
But Vampire Bill may have wanted to pop his fangs for Lady GaGa, who pulled out all the tricks for her Liberace-esque, back-up-wearing-tight-hammerpants-with-lace-panty-ninja-mask, blood-on-her-bustier, piano Prince tantrum fueled performance about the Paparazzi. She's working really hard to get our attention. Oh, and everytime the camera panned over to Lady GaGa or somebody sitting in front of her, she had on an equally Altoid-like curious outfit.
I said this earlier and I still believe it is so: she looked some extra in the Troll Market from Hellboy 2. I stand by that statement. And if that wasn't enough, she accepted her VMA and mentioned God and gays in the same breathe, which I'm sure will land heron the action item list of Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly and Tea Parties marching in DC now.
Kanye's snatching the mic from Taylor Swift
Kanye West was probably thinking Pink was doing a little too much fine china when she came up with the acrobatic singing stunt that could've turned her name into red, if she fell some 5 stories down to her death. (Remember when Pink was the white girl that sang sassy black music?) By the way, PInk was quoted saying: "Kanye west is the biggest piece of s--- on earth. Quote me,"
Taylor Swift made her way on to a subway car while singing, (I do that all the time when I'm in New York).
Beyonce performing "Single Ladies"
Beyonce did a live performance of Single Ladies with a thousand back up dancers and finally put class back in the night by giving Taylor Swift her moment to accept her award while I'm sure making Kanye West look even worse than he already did.
Jay Z performing "Empire State Of Mind"
And Jay-Z's joint with Alicia Keys was cool. I dug the track and I guess it was a good way to end the show.
I have to say, it was pretty entertaining but man did the music suck or was it just me? I was not feeling the Wale interludes but I'm a snob so... it really is just a venue to accept props from art and creative directors who were really responsible for all the beauty. I wish we could get some shine.
Overall, ehhhhh, I think that it demonstrated that American pop culture has lost its soul. I felt nothing, but that's just me.
Anyyyyway, here's some tweets about what I was thinking as I was watching, FB comments not included:
Fabian OccasionalSuperstar Williamsalways thought that we put celebrities on a pedestal but MTV's VJs are working at a level of worship that I've never seen. It's disturbing.
Fabian OccasionalSuperstar Williamsthinks now that Holyfield's brain has been so tenderized that they got him cross dressing as his nana on Taco Bell commercials...nationwide!
Fabian OccasionalSuperstar Williamsthinks Madonna was telling everybody of how she tried to have grown up sex with Michael Jackson. I think that's a lil' TMI.
Fabian OccasionalSuperstar Williamsthe votes are in, Jermaine Jackson's hair is held together with Jerry Khurl Special Recipe and Jack Daniel's Magic Styling Gel
Fabian OccasionalSuperstar Williamsthinks if you have to damn near kill yourself at the MTV video awards as pink did, you need to get better song writers.
Fabian OccasionalSuperstar Williamsthinks Kanye West may actually be out of his mickey fickin' mother fatherin' mind and Meagan Fox looks like a vampire.
Fabian OccasionalSuperstar Williamsok last one, Jermaine Jackson's hair looks so hard, he could transform into a metal can of Sportin' Waves.
